ADULT CRASH

So, as of last night, I am officially graduated and DONE with high school. If you read my last post, you know how indifferently I feel about the situation. But now it's getting more confusing. Today I signed a lease to live in Apartment 3 at 113 Ontario Street for the next year (starting August) and I also scored an interview for a full time job on Monday. I'm officially becoming an adult and I feel even more indifferent about life right now than I did before. I'm becoming an adult and progressing in life which leaves me both excited and scared shitless at the same time. Fuck high school, I don't want to go back there ever again, but I also don't want to leave the stage of my life I was in even just a week ago. I know it's nothing new and probably everyone goes through it, but it still sucks. But hey, it's life, and I'm ready to take on something new for once. I'll always miss these days though:


On a different note, I had a brief conversation with my friend, Whitey, today about life. We were talking about a band we are both stoked on called Carpathian and how we both feel like we really relate to a particular song by the band. The song is called "Cursed" and the specific lines we were talking about are:
"So is this destiny, a doubtful life, feeling empty?
Worst of all to make me guilty, blindest of the blind, telling me to see.
I might hate this world, I might hate myself,
But I wont be a wasted soul, another ghost like everyone else.
To Whitey and I, this is exactly how we feel about our current states. I can't speak specifically on Whitey's behalf, but I can for myself. Recently I've been making dumb mistakes, mistakes that I am better than. Lately, I've been a bit down on myself for being such a fucking moron and not living up to the person I want to be. So, to me, this song and those lines specifically reflect how I feel, because no matter how much I get down on myself and hate who I am or question my life and it's future, I still wouldn't have it any other way because I am at least noticing my flaws and trying to fix them, which is more than 98% of this world can say.

Well, that's enough late night ranting for me. If you're free tomorrow/today (June 6th, 2009) go to my band's last show at The Hangout. Doors are at 6 PM and it's $8 to get in. STAGE DIVE.

STAY YOU.

Song of the day: "Adult Crash" by Dead Hearts
"We said we'd stay young forever
To hell with everything
We did things we swore we'd never
And now I can't believe
I never thought it'd be you
I never thought it'd be me"